An open letter to the BSU Student Senate

I am a student at BSU living in Pine Hall. As of late there has been much ado about this proposed smoking ban on campus. As a resident of this school, I am wondering why. Who would want to enact such legislation? Frankly, what is the point?

To recap the score, Beltrami County has joined Olmsted County in imposing a county wide ban on smoking in public places. Knowing the local politics of Olmsted County, I can give them a pass due to their ideology. The city of Duluth has also imposed a similar ban. The ban in Duluth has been a goldmine for the city of Superior, as the free willed individual will make the 2 minute commute across the border to drink in Wisconsin. Rochester has shot itself in the foot in the same manner regarding lost revenue.

Here at BSU, you have a choice weather you wish to live on campus or not. You also have to the choice, if you wish to live on campus, weather you wish to live on a smoking floor, or even in a dorm with a smoking allowed at all. With all these choices, I wonder who would want to impose a ban on smoking in smoking dorms? They are smoking dorms, shouldn’t smokers be able to smoke in them?

I was reading the school’s newspaper last week, and I found a person’s letter, who was in favor of such a ban. This person did not in fact live on campus, but lived off campus. This irks me to such a degree. You see, this person can afford to live off campus in the smoking environment of her choice. With a smoking ban on campus, she could still smoke in her domicile. Yet she has a voice weather I can make the same decision on campus. Some people have it all.

After reading this essay I thought about the ban on drinking on campus. This woman does not have to adhere to this ban, although I do, even though I’m 25 years of age. Let’s say the Student Senate bans the drinking of alcohol for all students in their place of residency (and had some way of enforcing this). Would this student be so quick to change the rules on her fellow student?

As to the issue of this vote on a smoking ban, I wonder why there is a general vote in the first place. Think about it. Would the US have a general election to select the governor of Minnesota? Of course not. This is the difference between a republic and anarchy. I did a hypothetical case study. Let’s say that every resident of the State of Minnesota wanted Al Stewart to be the next governor of Minnesota, and every resident of Cook County Illinois wanted Alice Cooper to be the governor of Minnesota. Cook County has more people than the whole state of Minnesota, but they don’t live here. So why would Alice Cooper have to be our new governor? What does the voice of those who don’t live here have to do with us in a statewide decision?

My point lies in here. If there is to be a total dorm-wide ban on smoking, should we not ask only those who live on smoking floors, or in buildings that contain these floors? Personally I wonder what great knowledge some 17 year old freshman has over a grown man who has been around the block a few times? The answer, in all but a couple cases, is nothing. The vote on this matter should be contained to those who it would effect at all. Those who live on smoking floors, or in smoking buildings. And even at that, you could make only one dorm exclusively smoking, and fill it. A total ban on smoking is wrong in concept and it will prove so in practice. This proposed ban will equal less students living on campus, which will equal less revenue for the school, which will equal higher tuition and living fees.

I also want to know who wants to impose this ban on myself and every other person who lives on a smoking floor. I want names, because if I find out who you are I’m gonna try and offend you. I might even go as so far as smoke in my own room.

Second Short Essay on Smoking Bans

"How Far We’ve Come..."

by: Jack Spencer (artistic director)

This year marks the 72nd anniversary of the 21st amendment to the constitution, ending the prohibition of alcohol. And we’re all hoping that by it’s 100th anniversary, this news may reach BSU. Seriously though, prohibition is still alive and well. In fact the Prohibition Party is quite active. They currently have one elected candidate, James Hedges, who received 100% of the vote in Pennsylvania’s election for Thompson Township Tax Assessor. (96-0)

In the days before filtered cigarettes, before Joe Camel, before Menthols and Ultra-Lights, there was a time and place called the 1940's. During that time there were three makes of cigarettes on the market: Camel, Lucky Strike, and Pall Mall. With such little variety, one would think smoking a rarity. Yet, smoking was prevalent throughout the US. It was rare to find a person who didn’t smoke at all. The president smoked on camera. Camel filled the airwaves with advertisements like, "9 out of 10 doctors we surveyed said they smoked Camel Cigarettes, for the flavor."

Then in the 80's, something strange happened. With the advent of the compact or econo-car, that little triangular window disappeared from automobiles. This trend continued, and now it is as rare as the floor-mounted headlight dimmer switch. Could this be why smoking has gone out of the general public’s favor? When I travel to the Southern states, I notice that smoking is very much alive and well. I also notice that people drive many more cars with chrome bumpers, I-beam frame construction, and the little smoking window.

Anecdotal evidence for sure, but is that not the same kind of evidence the America Lung Association presents before congress?

Times change, people change(not really, but we’re still dumb enough to say we do), and trends change. That is to be expected, but where the hell did these anti-smoking nazis come from? There is a massive propaganda machine behind this movement, and it is fueled by none other than the insurance industry. Smoking is bad for your insurance company. Smokers in general, die before non-smokers. This means that life insurance(formerly death insurance) pays out more, before you have the chance to pay into the system fully.

Why ban smoking? Well it sure is trendy, and we sure like trends, just as sure as we hate Janet Jackson’s nipple. The Temperance Movement started as a trend, and it got its own amendment to the constitution. Who’s to say it won’t make a comeback?
With a firm grasp on the Thompson Township Tax Assessorship, what’s next for the Prohibition Party. A run for the White House in 2008? Or will the anti-smoking Nazis form a fascists party of their own? Hop on the bandwagon now! You may even get to take part in fucking-up the constitution.

First Short Essay On the Subject of Smoking Bans

"Pornography On Campus"

by: Jack Spencer (artistic director)

The other day I was searching the Internet for some information on Andrew Jackson, when I came upon a pornographic web site. Now I had heard of these things before, but I always thought that they were kept in a special place in the Internet. Not this site. It was third in a list of essays on Jacksonian America. It didn’t tell me it was going to be pornographic in nature, so I was quite surprised to see this young woman sodomized by a man who probably wasn’t in love with her.

Quickly I called my Residential Advisor to tell him of this occurrence. And to my shock, he said that it wasn’t uncommon at all. In fact, he said it was very common for people to not only stumble upon pornography, but to actively search for this smut on a regular basis. He went on to say that this sort of perversion is usually enjoyed (if you can even call it that) by self-pleasuring oneself.

Do people not know of the evils that pornography leads to in society? Can they not see that pornography (or porno, for short) is against everything that Jesus stood for? Isn’t it a fact that pornography probably has something to do with this nation’s growing illegitimacy rate?

As a concerned citizen and student here at BSU, I will be petitioning Student Senate to ban all pornography from campus. This ban will surely turn the tide on a growing trend of sexual deviants and homosexuals in the community. It may also cut down on a student’s laundry bill. Knowing what I know now, I can’t sleep at night with the thought that someone, maybe even my neighbor, could be looking at pornography.